Immersion? Integration?

Living in suspension

October in the US marks the start of Halloween decor, pumpkin spice everything with a flavor or scent—and if you live in the Northeast, a general confusion about which fabrics satisfy your heating and cooling needs in season-appropriate styles and colors. In Jamaica, October is still hurricane season except with cooler winds and shorter days.

A Reclaimed Structure in Mandeville

At my age, I have lived exactly half of my life in the US and the other half in Jamaica. But what counts as living in a place? Bank accounts? Driver’s license? Income tax? I “live” in Jamaica because I am physically present here, because my Jamaican mother lives here and I live with her. But I also “live” in the US because it’s work and receive mail.

This kind of living feels like moving through a suspension: fully immersed in my environment, but not integrated, an entity onto myself. It’s a dizzying existence in which I have only recently begun to understand how to experience calm. Write.

Delicious Agony

Over thirty years ago, national poet laureate and Pulitzer-prize winning poet Gwendolyn Brooks, described writing as a “delicious agony.” “There is no muse whispering in your ear,” she said. “You have to work at it.” She wasn’t talking about poetry, instead she lamented at that she didn’t “yet know how” to write about the issues she cared about. She and I both.

I started this newsletter to make sense of what I observe in the world—the joys, the terrors, the confusion, the silliness, the greed, the kindness, the beauty. None of it makes innate sense to me and writing is how I put the pieces together. This is a new endeavor and it will change over time (I’ve already changed the name three times.) I will publish at least weekly, and over time, I’ll have some reporting on local events as well as interviews.

Truth be told, I’m excited to be doing this. If you’ve read this far, thanks for being a witness to this experiment.

- Jda, YLT