River Walking
A man for a shoe.
Today I walked in the river.
Today I walked in the river barefoot.
I walked in the river barefoot using my arms to balance myself.
Today a man saw me and offered his arm to help me balance myself.
I took his arm and balanced myself. I balanced myself and released his arm. I released his arm and continued to walk in the river barefoot.
After I took his arm and balanced myself and released his arm and continued to walk barefoot in the river, the man offered to help me along my journey.
No, thank you, I said, I don’t need help.
After I said, No, thank you, I don’t need help, he said, What’s wrong with you nowadays women? Why unu don’t want to ask for help?
Today I walked in the river without shoes.
Today a man wanted me to need him.
A riverbed is home to the slipperiest of rocks. Smooth and rough rocks poke into your feet and make it easy to lose your balance. The key is to use the pads of your toes to feel out the bigger, smoother rocks so you can make confident steps. But if your goal is to remain upright on rocky ground in ever-moving water, you will fail.
I like the challenge of navigating this river without always knowing how the surface beneath me will respond. I trusted that wherever I placed my foot would be firm enough to help me move forward. Sometimes the riverbed rewarded my trust. Other times silt and algae betrayed me. It is impossible to walk the river barefoot without stumbling, without falling.
To walk a river barefoot, is to embrace uncertainty, to rejoice at the lento pace of advancing. I revelled in it all. I had nowhere to be and no one waiting on me to be there.
Everyone else who decided to walk the river wore some kind of water shoes. Water shoes make walking in the river more akin to walking on land. Your feet, more protected and less sensitive to the persnickety surface, don’t need to step cautiously and gingerly from place to place. I started walking the river about ten minutes before everyone else, but soon fell so far behind them I could no longer see them ahead of me.
The man who offered to help me started about fifteen minutes after I did. He and his son walked together, him helping the boy navigate the water and the rocks. He greeted me then asked if I needed help when he saw me losing my balance. He helped me steady myself and said he would walk with me with me the rest of the way to ensure I didn’t fall. I told him there was no need. I’d been walking long before he got there and didn’t need his help to continue. He asked if I’d done this walk before and said he didn’t feel comfortable leaving me behind. I told him not to worry, I had been walking without him just fine. Besides, I said, I don’t mind going slowly.
That’s when he asked me what’s wrong with nowadays women. I was no longer a women in need of his help, a person whose safety he fretted for.
This was not the first time he had asked me what’s wrong with nowadays women.
A few years ago, at the same gathering, I was carrying some load of either food or trash and he offered to give me a hand. That’s ok, I said, I can manage. He asked, why you women don’t like to ask for help?
Today a boy saw his father offer to help a woman and when she refused his offer, heard his father say something was wrong with her.
We can only hope there are better role models around this young boy before he fully develops into an adult. I am happy you stood your ground!